K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
