sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
