Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
