I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
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