yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
