found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
