shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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