Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
