return my video game
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
