i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
