He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
