Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
