He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
