Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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