As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
