she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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