there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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