did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
