Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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