somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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