a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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