listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
