I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize