Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
A+ Viking dick
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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