He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
