My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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