but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
