I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
