Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have aggressive nipples.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize