Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
They took my balls.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
