Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
