Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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