On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
