Fuck appropriateness.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There r osticjed everywhere
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
