Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Still dying that you shit outside
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
