I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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