Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
