Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
