He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
