Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
