She just used a chaser for red wine.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
