I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
