Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
