I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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