Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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