We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize