just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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