Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
