I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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