I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
