I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
