it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
