Where is the hickey?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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