Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
ok first of all what the fuck
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
