Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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