Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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