Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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