There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
jump out the window naked night went bad
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