you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
