Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
