It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
