It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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