I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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