yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
