These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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