i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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