She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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